Christian Depression
Sometimes Christians are stupid.
This is painfully evident when those around us suffer with bouts of depression. We feel compelled to speak, and that is when the stupid happens.
We tell people who suffer horrible things like, "Just get over it,” "You just need more faith," or “You are just not trusting God enough." Don’t be naive: there are some things this side of Heaven you just don't get over. Some events in life are not meant for you to "get over," but rather, for you to "get through.” And you need to know that that is okay.
Real beauty is found in living with peaks and valleys. This is called topography. Websters defines topography as “the art or science of making maps that show the height and depth of the land in a particular area.” You see, life art is not flattening out the picture for another, but helping them embrace the fact that life is comprised of peaks and valleys.
The book of Psalms has plenty of valleys with buckets of pain. Nothing is prettied up and many things were never fixed in the Psalms. They just are.
In Psalm 88, the writer says,
For my life is full of troubles, and death draws near. I am as good as dead…you have thrown me into the lowest pit, into the darkest depths.
This text is both raw and real. I suspect that telling the author of this Psalm to just get over it or to bumper-sticker him with Romans 8:28 just wouldn’t fix it for him.
Few would argue the greatest preacher of the 19th century might have been Charles Spurgeon, known for his sharp Biblical mind and rich homiletics. However, he is less known for the waves of depression that he suffered from his whole life. One Sunday he shared,
I suppose some brethren neither have much elevation or depression. I could almost wish to share their peaceful life, for I am much tossed up and down, and although my joy is greater than the most of men, my depression of spirit is such as few can have any idea of. This week has been in some respects the crowning week of my life, but it closed with a horror of great darkness of which I will say no more than this.
Spurgeon learned to live with and embraced the topography of life. So how can you and I help someone navigate the terrain of life? Three things to remember when walking with another through a valley:
Don’t judge them based on your circumstances but rather their circumstances. Just because you don’t feel it, don’t force them to stop feeling it. The depth of despair cannot be fixed with a superficial sentence or cotton-candy-like comfort.
Offer them unqualified, unconditional sympathy. Remind yourself that the sympathy that Jesus offers to us is the next most precious thing to his sacrifice. The great “why" question is not, “Why does God allow despair?” but rather, “Why does he draw near to those that suffer and suffer with them?” There is no distant God story in the Bible. Help them draw down on the sympathy of Jesus.
Remind them that Scripture calls Jesus the man of sorrows. Jesus feels not our strengths but rather our infirmities. Spend more time with them in the valleys than the peaks. Practice “with-ness” to those that are hurting. Our great High Priest prayed more for us than he preached at us. We can learn from the man of sorrows
Bottom line, don’t be stupid; be sympathetic. Don’t be simplistic; be sincere. And don’t just try to fix them; be with them.
